Time for a new therapist?
I’ve been with my current therapist for over half a year and I generally felt heard and understood. She helped me put things into perspective a lot of times. But. There is a but. I feel the issue where I need most help atm (incest and how it affected my (a)sexuality and created fear of men) seems to be something she wasn’t able to address in any helpful manner. I felt I had to convince her I was sexually abused. She had no idea about covert emotional incest and she didn’t see need to inform herself about it even though I asked her. When I described two instances of overt incest (inapproriate kissing and making me watch porn) she just said ‘our parents harm us in many inattentional ways and I still think I can help you. I dislike labels, they are very limiting’.
Last time I described how my hands twisted in disgust any time I was around my father and how I never allowed myself to have my back turned to him she said how she is fearful her child might someday interpret inocent loving touches as something else.
When I told her I had a flashback of my father patting me on a had before he made a move on me after I patted a child’s curls while exiting supermarket. She asked me ‘Why did you do it?!’. To me it sounded like accussation. I feel she was more worried for a child I patted than me.
I believe she can’t help me with incest because she hes her own unresolved issues around it. Or no experience working with it. I feel I can not trust her with this part of my experince. Her reactions thus far were very unsupportive whenever I raised the issue. I felt more support and understanding from CoDA members when I told them about this part of my life. I am not sure if there is a point of addressing this again with her. Maybe it’s time to speak with someone who has experience working with history of incest? I would rather not switch therapists but… 🙁
Submitted November 10, 2018 at 12:39AM by Kvartar