I feel like having sex is the only way I feel attractive or worthwhile.


I feel like having sex is the only way I feel attractive or worthwhile.

I was sexually abused throughout most of my childhood by a much older friend of my brother. He spent years grooming and abusing me under the guise of being a "nice guy" and acting like he "loved" me. The abuse ended when I was 15 and my brother went off to college. My abuser wasn't around anymore because my brother no longer lived in the same house as I did. At 16 I met my current fiance. We have been together now for almost 8 years and he does everything he can to help me overcome my emotional issues that stem from the abuse. He has been wonderful support through even my ugliest episodes and anxiety outbursts. Over the years we have always had a wonderful sex life but I always find myself thinking that we need to have more sex. I become obsessive and I get extremely hurt and sensitive when we are unable to even if he just got done working a long shift. I try to tell myself my fears are irrational but I can't stop thinking that I am unattractive or that he doesn't love me anymore. The thoughts are becoming more frequent and more disruptive. I feel as though the only time I am worth something to him is when we are having sex. He always tries to comfort me and reassure me thoroughly but i always find my mind going back to the irrational thoughts. I desperately want to stop because it stresses me out and I don't want to risk pushing him away when he wants to help. Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to overcome these fears and intrusive thoughts?

Submitted December 01, 2018 at 12:36AM by Rum_BunnyX3
via reddit

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