I want to take control but my family doesn’t understand. Advise?
I am having an extremely difficult time with my parents. I live at home and have always had a close relationship with them. I told them about my abuse three years ago. Lately, I have been trying to make my own choices and decisions to foster my healing. Their response, and subsequent treatment of me since, is upsetting and triggering.
My parents are not abusive. They love me and care for me. I think they are damaged themselves from their own childhood traumas and lack the emotional intelligence to understand what I am going through.
Going to college is very triggering for me. I was abused by a teacher in school. They yell at me, guilt me, and make me feel like a failure for wanting to take time off. They tell me "you just have to suck it up and go to school," even though I have had chronic pain since attending college and am nervous every day I have to go class. They tell me to take as much time as I need to heal and go to therapy, but then yell at me for trying to take control of my life. They also tell me to "not talk about certain things," which makes no sense if they want me to go to therapy and get better. It feels like they want me to "heal" so long as it fits into their life bubble. I am not saying I want to drop out, I just can't emotionally do school right now.
My PTSD is getting worse. I have started to exhibit symptoms of withdrawal and depression, two things I have never experienced before. It terrifies me. I was always a strong, happy person, and now I have to force myself to get out of bed. The lack of support and conflicting messages are hurting my emotional wellbeing. I don't know what to do. I feel like it's a reasonable response for someone who was abused by a teacher to take time off from school to seek counseling and healing. But maybe not if they think I am a failure and just "being difficult." Any advise? I appreciate anyone willing to respond.
Submitted November 30, 2018 at 08:47PM by rocker_chick1997