Advice for Someone Who was Abused
I want to clarify, while I am subscribed to this thread and have survived abuse of my own, this thread isn't really about me but could use the perspective of those who have been hurt.
About three weeks ago outside my apartment I heard violence happening and ended up taking a woman and her young child into my apartment as they were being physically harmed by the woman's husband. I held them while waiting for police (which I called) and learned their names, I even called the woman's sister to see them. I learned the husband was arrested and is in jail, they were taken to a hospital. No one suffered anything life-threatening, and I've since seen the woman and her child back at the apartment, but even though we are virtually next door neighbors we do not really speak to each other. Whenever I see them I'm in a car or in other ways incapable of reaching out and have been hesitant to reach out directly in case she is still recovering.
Christmas is coming up, and part of me wants to reach out indirectly and give them something for Christmas, maybe with a message saying we are a safe place if they need it again (we being my roommate and I). I wouldn't be able to give them much if I did, but I figured something like baking ingredients or new blankets or maybe a toy for the child (I gave her one of my stuffed animals and she kept it, which I'm more than fine with).
Firstly, would this be a wise thing to do, or would it come across as harmful or invasive? As someone who has been hurt I know how isolating or shameful it can feel afterward. I don't want them to feel totally isolated and give them something good after something so traumatic, especially for the holidays. If it would be a good thing to do, what would be a good gift? I'd likely drop it by their door and let them find it, rather than give it directly, again because I don't know if suddenly showing up again would do more harm than good. What would you want after something like that?
Take care of yourselves and never give up.
Submitted December 07, 2018 at 04:31AM by SyntheticAura