Trigger warning. Just discovered i have ptsd and was abused…

Trigger warning. Just discovered i have ptsd and was abused…

So I just discovered I have PTSD. Had it for bout six weeks now. Recently moved in with my partner, and seemed to have first triggered it shouting at adverts whilst I were cleaning up. Crouched into the fetal position an if he'd hadn't have gone through it before I'd be in the cycle of abuse still.

I'm having a hard time dealing with flashbacks. Confronted my abusers about them, they said they're innocent…. But I figured I don't like baths anymore, 6 weeks ago, and just discovered why. My dad used to squirt water out of his hands in the bath and it used to splash on my face, which is why now, i dont like wahing my face… Or the time when I was 7, returning home from the pub on holiday, getting ready for bed, then an old man came around to take photos of me, so I had to get dressed again, I can't remember taking my clothes off, but can't remember going back to bed…

Or that time my mum shared tips about hitting kids on the sole of their feet with another abuser…. So not to show any bruises.

Also admitted social services came around a lot, but apparently THAT was normal. My cousin saying to me "he started abusing us too, so we all cut contact"

PTSD has given me good memories too! 🙂 Like my Nana's perfect pudding recipe!!!! I had a flashback of her showing me! It was LOVELY to relive it!!!

Guess I was abused as a kid then…. My brother doesn't remember,may never will, he had convulsions and all three of them say IM crazy…. Everything makes sense….

Submitted December 06, 2018 at 03:47PM by survivor080808
via reddit

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